Do you speak Kitty as a second language? If you have one or more cats in your life, you should! The thing about cat speak is that it’s very different from the way humans communicate. And it’s also totally different from dog language. Think of it like comparing Japanese and English — it involves a different way of thinking, even when the message is the same or similar. We cats just process our thoughts, emotions, and ideas in a way that’s unfamiliar to humans. And that includes our love language.
Because of this, people often don’t realize their cat is expressing love and devotion. They may even think their cat is aloof and unaffectionate…when nothing could be further from the truth! So let me break down some of the signals for you.
Cats want to be with you…but not necessarily in your face
Have you ever had a cat that followed you from room to room, but never actually got up close and personal? Like you would look up from your book or the TV and there they were on the other side of the room? Your cat was showing that they wanted to share space with you.
Cats don’t need to be all over you to express their devotion. They’re perfectly comfortable with being nearby and feeling your presence. They just like knowing you’re there, and vice versa.
The slow blink
This is one of the most well-known expressions of cat love. When a relaxed cat looks your way, slowly blinks at you and then looks away, it signals trust and affection. It’s often given from a distance. When a cat gives you a slow blink, blinking back is a nice way to return the favor. Just don’t stare — that’s a threat and a challenge to a cat.
The love language of a cat’s tail
Dogs wag their tails when they are happy to see you. Conversely, a cat whipping its tail back and forth means trouble because they are agitated! But a cat’s tail does express love when it’s held high as they approach you. If their tail curves at the tip in a question mark shape, they are extra happy to see you.
Want to know when a cat’s really excited? Their tail shakes! Yes, cats shake their tails when they are spraying too, but this is different. When they’re excited, it’s often accompanied by the next love signal.
Happy paws are love paws
Some people call this kneading or making biscuits. My human calls them happy paws because that is exactly what they are! If your cat is making happy paws on or around you, they are definitely glad to be in your company.
A really happy cat will do it even when they’re standing. I do that sometimes, with my tail shaking. It’s like I’m so happy I can barely control myself!
Marking you as their own
Cats have scent glands in several parts of their body, including their head, the base and top of their tail, and their paw pads. When they rub up against something, they are marking it with their scent. That way other cats (and other animals too) know they’ve been there. Cats also mark those they love. It’s their way of saying, “You are mine.”
Giving you headbutts
Also known as “bunting,” headbutts are a cute sign of affection from your cat. You might consider it one way a kitty kisses you. And yes, it’s also one way in which they mark you.
Sleeping with you
Cats aren’t always about keeping a loving distance from you. They can and will get up close and personal if they really trust you. A cat that solicits physical connection with you trusts you a lot. One that sleeps with you considers you the closest of family.
Every cat is different. Those who are highly socialized spread their love language openly and freely. They’ll express themselves through physical contact and other ways that humans may consider more traditional. But those that are shy around humans, or come from a feral background won’t be so obvious. When a cat like that chooses to share space with you, even from a few feet away, that it’s a big compliment and not to be taken lightly. If they look over at you, give you a slow blink, and then look away, you’ve gotten a precious gift.
When a cat loves you, no matter how they express it, always remember it’s a deep display of trust. Never betray it or take it for granted. Cats take betrayal harder than most creatures, and it will be really hard to regain their trust. Cat love is both deep and fragile. Always remember that.
How does your cat say they love you? Let’s discuss it in the comments.